Turn On List

1. Facial hair - especially the ones that surround the jaw lines. It screams masculinity to me. I love some facial coarseness, but not the kind that's as thick as on one's scalp. However, I kinda dislike if the facial hair left is just the mustache. I don't dig Tom Selleck or Adolf Hitler look. I like normal eyebrows as well. Not too bushy, not singular eyebrow, and hell no to shaved, feminine eyebrows. And please, no nose hair.



2. Clean hairstyle - I dig semi-kalbo or kalbo (as long as it looks proportional and suitable). Also, soldier's cut, barber's cut, any haircut that looks clean and manly. Guys will long girly hair or wild haircut turn me off.



3. Big round eyes / Eyeglasses - I like eyes which are serious but not emotional. Not too into chinito eyes. Though Jap eyes are hot. I dig glasses-sporting, nerdy-looking geeks and jocks.  For some reason, I always give guys who are bald and have glasses a second look.



4. Shoulders, chest, torso, and arms - Broad but not too muscular. At least the kind which tells me that the person makes an effort to lift heavy things or weights. Hugging skinny guys hurt--their pointy, sharp bones bother me. Stocky body's okay as long as it's not too much. Some tattoo can look wholesome, but it depends on the tattoo as well. Religious and colorful tattoos are turn-offs. I don't really like kissing a Jesus or crucifix tattoo when I smother one with saliva. I like 'em tattoos black and mysterious. I like word tattoos, but it again depends on what word it is. If it's a name of an ex, oh boy, good luck finding another person with that name and say, "Hey, we're destined to meet! I met this fortune-teller before..."



5. Nipples - I like 'em small. Not the kind which will pull off a baktong (bakat ang utong). Feminine nipples look funny and cute. And sheesh, no nipple rings. A bit of hair's okay as long as it's not forest-like.



6. Other body hair - a few strands of chest hair and karug (the hair strands from belly button to pubes) make me sweat. Some armpit hair's yumyum. Hell no to carpets and shaved, ivory-like armpits. Trimmed pubes are a must.



7. Butt, dick, legs, feet - just normal-sized. Not flat nor chickenlike nor ginormous nor miscroscopic. And no smell, please. Ick.



8. Brains - the sexiest human organ. Sometimes I do tend overlook all of the above if this one is exceptional. However, I do get shallow at times and still look at something physical for my hormones to hold on to.   



9. Swagger - or maybe just self-confidence. Someone with decent fashion sense. Not the kind who knows what showed on the runway in Summer 2011. Awkward and timid guys are cute for some time, but after a while, it's so tiring to have to always boost their self-confidence.



10. Manliness - Similar to #8, very masculine guys can make me overlook a lot of the listed things above. Or maybe as normal as the word normal gets. As how some gay guys make fun of the other gay guys, "Bakla na nga, naka-pink pa. So redundant."



11. Good communication skills - speaks and writes really well. I'm a grammar police--it's a fucking curse that I easily get turned off if a date or someone texts me with horrible grammatical errors. But I seriously get turned on when a guy's a great speaker and/or writer.



12. Good cultural taste and breeding - someone who reads a lot of books, listen to great music, and watch decent films. Or any guy who can hold a great conversation over coffee or beer.



But hey, boys will be boys. We can't fight the urge to notice these things which turn us on in all of the people we meet. Even the most faithful person I guess will still find people who still turn him on. Much more for us guys who are just cursed with this insatiable sexual urge and eye for things that arouse us.

This entry is partially inspired by what Louis C.K.'s character says in the show, Louie. To paraphrase his character loosely:  it's just impossible for guys to have really romantic thoughts on one that he likes/loves without a really disgusting thought that comes immediately after. "God, I think you look so great... and I just want to bathe you with my cum."



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